2024 In A Nutshell...

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So, looking back over this past year, I realize I've only posted to this blog about five times. I started the year with so much hope for this blog. I thought I could manage, at the bear minimum, one post per month. However, I've been burdened by something all year that kept beating me down and kept me from making the effort. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, and maybe I am, but it really is the truth. There were several events this year that deterred my writing, but the main one was that my oldest son moved out of the house at the beginning of the year. He also moved two states away so he could attend a film school, so that's put one heck of a buffer zone between us.  His moving out seemed to set the stage for the rest of the year for me. 

I really miss seeing my son everyday, and I struggled for several months about whether I spent enough time with him while he was younger, when he really wanted my presence. I don't think I did all that bad as a father to him, but I let that infection thought of "Could I have done more?" worry my mind. I've been told all parents go through something like this when their kids leave the nest; "It's just a phase," they say. There have been a lot of "phases" to being a parent, but this has been the least fun one yet.  This one felt like it nearly defeated me.

I think I've finally adjusted to the change. I visit him as often as I can, we text a lot, and of course talk on the phone. We even managed to make it to a concert together earlier this year. Each time we speak, I have to fight the urge to tell him I wish he'd move back home. I don't want to put that on him. He knows I miss him, and that I love him, and that I'm proud of him and the things he's doing. He doesn't need to be subjected to any guilt for leaving home and finding his own way. I want him to be happy, but I also want him to know that dad is always here if he needs help. 

This post was seriously meant to be about making a commitment to this blog for 2025, but it took a very personal turn, and I'm not sorry for that. However, I do think I'll stop here for now. 

Wishing you both a very Merry Christmas, and so much love and joy for the New Year! 

God Bless,
M.H. David

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